Is the Doctor a Good Man? This is an arc that has been unfolding for a long time and covering numerous episodes (showing both sides of the argument) and is something I had discussed a while back in relation to A Good Man Goes to War. I came to a similar conclusion to the one that Clara came to, but I do think, more strongly than she does, that he is a good man.
Nobody, least of all the Doctor, is purely any one thing and the world isn’t a black and white place, but his questioning of his own character shows so much insight into who he is. That, in combination with how hard he works to help people despite occasionally committing morally questionable acts for the greater good, ultimately proves that he is a good man. He can see it. He can see what he’s done wrong and the guilt of it weighs heavily on him even when, as the Eleventh Doctor, he used to work so hard not to think about it. That matters.
The fact that the Doctor is a good man is something River, his wife who has seen him at his best, but also stood next to him at his worst telling him just how low he’s gotten and who has her own dark side she relates to him through, can say he is with confidence. And it is something that Clara, looking at him from the perspective of an undeniably good person who is also his friend and witness to his actions (both good and bad), can see that he’s trying to be. Even though she doesn’t yet know the answer definitively, she does see that it is something he works to be and that means so much more than he gives himself credit for.
But the Doctor can’t see it clearly because he feels the pain of everything he’s done and he’s not sure it makes him a good man. Eleven didn’t want to confront it. He was the man who forgets, not just because he was too old, but because he only become worse as he got older and had done so many terrible things that he could no longer stand to think about them.
Although Eleven did take River’s advice and try to stop being the man the universe fears, he never truly wanted the answer to the question of if he was a good man. He very clearly thinks the answer is no, but in The Day of the Doctor, he was forced to confront the day that sent him down this dark path and was given the opportunity for a second chance to find another way to bring down the Daleks and corrupt ruling Time Lords while saving the innocent on Gallifrey without killing everyone. Now, with a new perspective on his own past actions, Twelve is going forward confronting his dark side and, in his own words, is still “terrified” that he might not be a good man. He is finally putting aside his fear and looking directly into the part of himself that was destroying Eleven internally, but that he couldn’t truly bring himself to face.
This comparison is important. The difference in these two birthdays is important. These photos are taken exactly a year apart: the left is my 18th birthday and the right is my 19th birthday. Here’s how these nights went:
18: I went out to a sushi restaurant with close friends and family. I refused to drink my first legal drink. I was wearing 2 pairs of pants and 3 sweaters. I had one bite of sashimi, ran to the bathroom, locked myself in the stall and purged. I refused to come out and my mom had to get the manager to unlock the door. I cried my eyes out and I had to convince the manager to let me sneak out the back because I was too embarrassed to go back to my own birthday party.
19: I met up with the same (with a few additions) group of friends at a pizza and wine bar. I had half a pizza, 3 glasses of wine and a slice of birthday cake. Scratch that, I had my face pushed into a piece of cake. In this picture I am over 30lbs heavier than one year ago today. I am wearing a thin tank top. I am warm, I am fulfilled and I love myself. (I am also pretty drunk).
I want you to know that recovery is 100% possible. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Some days, it took literally all my strength to push through meals. But I did it, and others can too. Eating disorders are not a “for life” sentence, although they feel like it. With hard work, adventure and patience, you can learn to love yourself again. You can learn to hold yourself together again.
Choosing to let Anorexia consume me would have been one of the last decisions I would have ever made. Choosing recovery was the single greatest decision I’ve ever made.
WOW. JUST WOW.
“Just so everyone is aware, there is a bunch of misleading info being spread around re: ALS research - the “27%” figure is based on previous years’ annual funding; furthermore, the remainder goes to improving the quality of life of those suffering from ALS. Given that the annual funding is approximately 16M, that’s just over 4M spent on decreasing their suffering. It isn’t greed, it’s a lack of money.”
Shut up already.
And the next time you start to complain about a charity either a) working on multiple fronts (because that’s what ALSA does—both seeking a cure and helping people suffering now) or b) daring to have administration expenses—let’s see how long you can last, much less tackle a cause, without printer paper and an internet connection.
As someone who has watched a family member die from a neuro-degenerative disease; funding to develop better wheelchairs and bedsore creams is *just* as important as funding research to cure the disease itself…
A friend of mine posted an update from one of HER friends to FB earlier. Her dad has ALS. The ALS foundation came out to see if they could put in a ramp for his wheelchair, but they couldn’t afford it because of the kind of ramp he needed for the kind of house they had.
This week they called back and said hey, the thing is, we suddenly have a bunch of money, so we’re coming out to build that ramp. And they did. She posted pics.
So if you feel like bitching about the ice bucket challenge…reconsider.
Some writers need a while to charge their batteries, and then write their books very rapidly. Some writers write a page or so every day, rain or shine. Some writers run out of steam, and need to do whatever it is they happen to do until they’re ready to write again.